Gmail vs Sanity
by MidoriUshanka
Summary: I'll just sit here all night.*day, rather And talk to myself Because I'm cool like that.  Do you agree? Yeah. I am cool like that. A CHAT ON GMAIL CAUSES ME TO GO INSANE! Please only read if you wish to be greatly disturbed.Rated M for swearing and sex.


**A/N:**

**Hey guys! It's Heron! I'm really sorry that I haven't been updating any of my stories lately, I've just been really busy with summer. I AM actually working on ATTWF, and a new collaboration fanfiction with my friend. Her user Is: reid and review plzz and her fanfictions are awesome. ANYWHO I was looking through my email and I found this... It's extremely fucked up. One night, a while back, my friend logged off of Gmail and so I stayed on and decided to wait for her.**

**Well, let's just say that I started to talk to myself and I lost my sanity that night. All of this is me talking to myself and going crazy on Gmail chat because my friend wouldn't log on. WARNING: Lots of swearing and mature themes. OKAY, enjoy, and try not to puke.**

**~Heron 3 :D**

2:28 AM

**me**: please log back on

I know you'll have your gut feeling to

unless your asleep

in that case :

FUCK

Oh, I mean

M'kay!

lolz

2:29 AM

p

l

e

a

s

e

l

o

g

b

a

c

k

o

n

...

Mother fucker

Karma is a bitch

oops

I mean

Bich!

2:30 AM

poop

I'm bored out of my freaking mind

please slonaaaaa

for the sake of my non existing sanity!

LOG ON!

lolz

its okay

2:31 AM

I'll just sit here all night.

*day, rather

And talk to myself

Because I'm cool like that.

Do you agree?

Yeah. I am cool like that.

I'm cool enough to talk to mysekf

*myself

2:32 AM

Or maybe your JUST A LONELY BITCH!

Shut up!

no!

Your a lonely biotch, your a lonely biotch

STOP IT!

Nope!

2:33 AM

Man, you treat me the way Cartman treats Kyle

How?

You treat me like a no-good-greedy Jew.

Oh, I see

Yeah!

I don't care tho.

**cry**

Oh stop, you pansy wimp

2:34 AM

I can't!

Ever since we got back together you've treated me like shit!

what evs. You deserve it

SEE?

What? You are freaking out over nothing, bitch.

2:35 AM

I'm not your chew toy!

You can't ruff around with me and then throw me away!

Oh yes I can, just watch me!

Nooo! Get away from me you sick bastard!

2:36 AM

Lemme see whats you been hiding under those fancy clothes

Noooo!

Mysterion! Help meeeeeeeee!

Did somebody call my name?

2:37 AM

NO, I said Mysterion, not Mint berry crunch, retard!

Well-uh- Mysterion is having sex right now, according to your perverted fanfiction,,,

I was the only available savior.

2:38 AM

Shit! Damn me and my south park obsessions! I should just end it all! right now!

No, You'll die!

M-mysterion?

Hey babe.

Ohhhhh Mysterion!

Hey baby

Miss me?

What? You went somewhere?

2:39 AM

I died, duhhhh.

Um, wtf are you talking about, Kenny?

God damnit! try to remember **this** time!

Remember what?

**BANG**

OMG! NOOOOOO MYSTERION!

Now I'm gonna get raped.

Fuck.

2:40 AM

Come here, chew toy!

NOOOOO!

UGh I can't watch this! Shablagoo!

Wtf Mint berry crunch? You just decided to leave me? Screw you!

Well actually, we

WHAT?

2:41 AM

We're all apart of your imagination. Your chatting with yourself remember?

...

Fuck.

Oh well, this is better than sleeping and having that reoccuring nightmare

Whats it about?

Um...

Dude, you can tell me,

2:42 AM

I can tell my all honorable rapist?

Yeah!

Dude I was being **sarcastic** . Ever heard of it?

Uh... No?

Nvm

Tell me about your nightmare!

Fine...

2:43 AM

Go on.

Okay so I am alone in my room and I'm bored and... and...

And what?

I go crazy and start chatting with myself because my buddy sloane isn't online

2:44 AM

Uhm... Morgan?

...What? Yeah?

Thats happening right now.

oh, so I'm sleeping. If I pinch myself I'll-

No. This is real life.

WHAT?  
>FUCK!<p>

Sorry, can I get back to raping you?

2:45 AM

Are you an old man?

Uh, no.

Then no.

I'm you. We're all you.

Wouldn't that be masturbation?

Kinda, i guess.

Hmmmm...

2:46 AM

I just thought of a FF! K2: The case of the missing dildo!

Oh sweet Jeesus

Good or bad?

I haven;t read it but I'd assume BAD

**sniffle**

What now?

You could atleast try to well, you know...

What?

Encourage me in my passion!

2:47 AM

Dude, if anybody encourages you anymore, I'm afraid The universe would implode

Oh thanks, douche! U sure know how to cheer me up. Fuck off.

Fine, but You'll be alone.

2:48 AM

I'm already alone. Remember? I'm chatting with myself.

Fuck. That means I can't leave you.

I can invite My friend over!

In your mind?

Sure! Don't tell me you've never tried it!

2:49 AM

Ugh, I haven't, morgan.

Well, theres a first for everything!

You are insane.

Yes I am.

GOD! YOur proud of that?

Shut up! I'm calling my friend!

2:50 AM

Through a sea shell? Wtf?

Don't judge me!

Too lateeeee.

**Flips off my imagination**

Up yours, psycho bitch!

2:51 AM

Uh, Hi! Aria, Kyle, Ron? can you come over so we can have major orgies?

oh dear.

Great! See you soon! Uh, no I'm afraid Kenny can't join...

Bye!

2:52 AM

what the fuck? You called them through a shell Where the fuck do you come up with this shit?

Ask yourself.. Or me.. Fuck... We're the same people so stop insulting me, ass wipe!

Jew!

I"M NOT JEWISH!1

Your gonna fuck one sooooon

2:53 AM

Ohhh I just came.

DA FUCK?

OH Uh i mean, be nice to my friends!

What friends? Your chatting alone. Your friend sloane wont even bother to come on and talk to you!

2:54 AM

Don't talk about her like that! She's just sleeping!

Or... Morgan. Think of it. She could be writing disturbing fanfictions with a new pervert buddy!

WHAT NO! SHUT UP!

2:55 AM

You know she would. She probably got bored and dumped your insane ass.

She wouldnt!

Oh, she would!

Why would you think that about her?

2:56 AM

Morgan, your the one doing all of the thinking. Did you ever wonder that maybe this is your concence telling you the truth,

NO! I WILL NOT BELIEVE YOU!

Fine! I'm going to

DISAPPEAR!

What?

Omg I'm alone!

Hey mommmmmmm

2:57 AM

Yeah, morgan?

Can we go to a cult meeting so that maybe I can gain the super power to never die like Kenny? PLZZZZZ?

Sure sweety, WAIT WHAT?

Just drive the car to this cult meetin, and get really drunk

2:58 AM

Urhhhh okay?

LALALLALALALALALA OMG CULT!

**We curse you and gift you! You have the same power as kenny/Mysterion**

FUCK YAH!

MOm, drive me homeeeeeeeee

2:59 AM

I'm drunk, baby.

DRIVE THE GOD DAMN CAR!

Okay.

Lalala.

Okay we're home.

I'mm going to go kill myself to test out my new power. LALALA

3:00 AM

Okay, have fun, sweety.

**BANG**

five minutes later

3:05 AM

Yawwwwnnn

OMFG

I"M

ALIVE?

Its true!

I do have the same power as Kenny!

Or, your using your imagination beyong anyone's wildest fucking dreams

Who said that?

You did

3:06 AM

What?

Don't you remember five minutes ago, morgan?

Uhhhh Omg.

Yes.

HOLY SHIT LET ME WAKE UP FROM THIS GOD FORSAKEN NIGHT MARE!

3:07 AM

You cant.

Kenny?

Hi, Morgan.

Omg hi!

How are you KEnny? I love you!

As I was saying, this is a never ending nightmare. You'll die over and over and over and over and over and over and over!

3:08 AM

You'll even commit suicide a couple of times, just for the hell of it!

Oh shit.

Yeah, now how do you like this fucking so called "power" bitch?

I WANT IT GONEEEEEEEEEE OUT OF MEEEEEEEEEE

it wont happen like that.

:(

3:09 AM

It never goes away

EVER

Well I can make you go away.

What?

Byebye Kenny

**BANG**

He was annoying.

Aria? OMG HI IM SUCH A BIG FAN!

3:10 AM

Hihi! No flash photography,please

Oh ummmm

What Morgan?

I took some pics of you and Mr. Fitz...

SHIT!

HAAHAHAH  
>~A<p>

Fuck

Mr. Fitz, can you forgive me

?

3:11 AM

I'm sorry but Morgan, I'm afraid thats an F on your paper.

F AS IN FUC-

SHHHH!

What aria?

We have to use code words, like Charlies angles!

Why?

Cuz you just made that up, duhhh!

3:12 AM

Shit! Seriously?

Yeeah! Your doing this all in your imagination, remember?

3:13 AM

Aw, yah. Poop. Well. Um, Ezra, Aria, when we have "Detention" can we also have a crazy "study session" ?

Sure! But you'll get an "F" on that paper too

Oh boo hoo!

OH me and aria need to go for an URGENT "study session"

3:14 AM

Okay, use condoms!

Lalalalala

OMG

No, not you again!

What, me?

YAH, You! I mean, me... since well your all the same people as me. FUck. this is confusing!

It sure is!

3:15 AM

How about I'm Morgan... Cause I am, and well, your gonna be called Antwon

Why?

Because you rape people!

3:16 AM

But Antwon was the person who hated rape! Can't I be named MR. Coggins?

Why?

Because... he;s a raper- DUH!

Oh, okay, sure!

So Mr. Coggins, how are your flapodoodas today?

3:17 AM

Do you mean my SACK-A JEW- EEEEEEE-UHHHHH ?

Urm, I guess?

Their fine

Cool.

They look itchy.

WTF? How can you tell?

Um, I just pictured you naked and now you are.

3:18 AM

Fuck. Wait, but if I'm you, doesn't that mean I'd take the form of you and **Not** have balls?

Ummm yahhhh about that...

KYLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEe

What? I'm busy making out with stan cause we;re gay together!

3:19 AM

OMG! IT FINALLY CAME TRUE? FUCK YEAH!

Oh, I see that your little friend has a ball sack

Uh stan thats me naked.

Its attractive, thats for sure.

wait- arent you a girl, morgan?

3:20 AM

Well, yes, but I wanted to engage with you and Stan's sexual stuff and since your gay well, your attracted to dicks so in my imagination land I can do anything I want

3:21 AM

So you gave yourself balls?

Well I gave mr. coggins balls and since mr. coggins is me... Wanna fuck?

sure

Wait a minute.

WHAT?

3:22 AM

If Kyle and I are gay and we are you doesn't that make you gay?

Well yah, but I'm bi so yah

but hmmmmm

What

Well, with your logic we could twist you into having sex with us without having a ball sack on you

3:23 AM

REALLY? cool cause this is SO fucking uncomfortable

Okay so you said your bi

Yesh,

okay, so we;re gay

yesh

and we're all part of you

yesh

and so is mr. coggins?

uh huh

3:24 AM

Okay and if Mr. coggins has balls and a dick, that means you must have a partial and theoretical dick, correct?

I guess but

HOLD ON! My smart jew needs to work this out

okay stan

3:25 AM

So if you have a theoretical dick, then we can say that you sort of have a dick (which we are attracted to) and so we can all fuck, even tho you physically have a pussy and tits.

YOUR SO SMART KYLE

I know, morgan, I know.

Now lets fuck.

3:26 AM

Stan?

Yes Kyle?

Do we have to include Mr. coggins?

Nope,

Good.

Cartman?

Yeah?

Banish Mr. Coggins the raper into eternal dispair and oblivion

3:27 AM

with the help of the dark lord khatulu?

Shya, you couldn't do it yourself, fat ass

FINE YOU PUSSIES! YOU JEW FAGS!

Fuck off cartman

Must obey creator of imaginationland.

WTF?

3:28 AM

I guess I can control him! And everybody in my mind!

Swweeeettt!

dude, we need to keep this "guy" around!

3:29 AM

TOTALLY NOW LETS FUCK ALL TOGETHER! Except for Mr. Coggins becuz he's somewhere in dark despair for all eternity

AGREED

* * *

><p>5 minutes<p>

3:34 AM

**me**: Omg you guys fuck hard

Thanks "dude"

3:35 AM

Hehe and your soooo I don't know how to put it/

Handesome?

Clever?

Jewish?

Nooooo

Then what?

Cartoonish

Seriously?

Well you are

*!

That was mean

3:36 AM

Sorry, Stan! Man, you wouldn't be in love with that handsome clever jew if it weren't for people like me, so RESPECT ME

Fuck off bitch.

3:37 AM

no you- you-

haha she has no comeback

YOU HAVE NO BALLS

Omg

fuck! Everything I say goes in this world!

3:38 AM

You bitch! You gave us vasectomies! WE HATE YOU!1

**CRY**

My favorite gay couple hates me

I cant live. Good bye, cruel, imagination world! **BANG**

3:39 AM

Yaawwwwwwnnnn

OH GOD DAMNIT!

Hi morgan

Hey, fucktard

Well I was wondering

what Kenny?

Wanna fuck?

No.

Why?

3:40 AM

The last time I did, I accidentally took their balls away

That wont happen this time

How do you know?

I have no balls

WHAAAA?

Well I did, until your subconcious mind told you to type into the computer: I have no balls

3:41 AM

Shit I need help

I know, and I'd like to

Kenny... get that scary grin off your face.. you look really, really perverted!

AHHHHH KENNY IS A RAPIST!

3:42 AM

Now that you said it, its true! GOD DAMNIT CONTROL THAT MOUTH OF YOURS BITCH!

Okay

What? Your gonna listen to me?

Well I just thought of something

Whats that?

Well two things now

Tell me the first.

3:44 AM

Okay so here: If I can control everyone in my imagination land, because everyone is me and I'm everyone, that means that they can control me, technichally speaking: I have no control. How the fuck am I doing this shit?

... You confuse me.

**BANG**

KENNY NOOOOOOOOO!

Its all over! I won't live without him!

**BANG**

Yawwwwnnnn

GOD MOTHER FUCKING MECHA STREISAND!

Hi morgan

HI Kenny.

3:46 AM

What was the second thing you wanted to tell me yesterday? or a couple seconds ago since time is different here in imagination land?

Oh I can't remember.

Maybe a game of russian roullette will help u remember

Whats that?

Okay so we take a gun-

got one! :D

let me finish

okay

3:47 AM

and we put one bullet in it, and turn the barrel and shoot

until the bullet actually fires.

Why would Karma let that happen?

She's a bitch. On her mother fucking period.

3:48 AM

Okay.

Lets play.

Round and round the bullet goes. I pull the trigger and **BANG**

Fuck! Morgan!

**BANG**

Yawwwwwwwwwwnnnnn

DAMN

3:49 AM

I'm getting pretty sick of dying.

Morgan, its nowhere near over

Fuck.

Ohkay so I rememberd my question, but now I have another one.

Shoot

3:50 AM

Okay so how did you die yesterday if there was only one bullet in the gun, and the one bullet was in my head?

Ummm..

Question # 2

3:51 AM

Why am I sitting here chatting with myself, waiting for sloane if I have the same reoccurring nightmare? I could do this in my sleep and not hurt my hands from typing so much !

Morgan, we all have days when we question ourselves.

We do?

3:52 AM

No, you made me type that!

Screw it! Sloane, I'm going to fucking sleep. I killed myself multiple fucking god damn times! I got raped, I fucked gay guys!

I stayed up to 4:00 in the morning for you!

I hope you laugh your ass off when your through with reading all of this.

Laugh your fucking ass off.

bye morgan

3:54 AM

Bye kenny- wait why the fuck am I still talking to you?

Theres no escape!

OH YES THERE IS!

**BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG MOTHER FUCKING BANG**

Night


End file.
